Appreciating what you have

I am making amazing progress with my arm :) I am only in my brace part time instead of full time now which I had not really been expecting for another month. We are just waiting for a few bones to finish healing and then we will have the wires, screws and part of one bracket removed in January over winter break. PT has been going well :) Extension is -20 degrees, and Flex is 95 degrees.
Everything is going so well but I really could not get through it without my support system. Kyla and Amanda are my neighbors across the hall and my personal cheerleaders. They decorate my whiteboard with the most encouraging remarks after I get back from the doctor or PT. At any sign of progress they celebrate...no matter how small it actually is. If I have a setback, they encourage me and tell me everything is okay and to keep pushing on. My roommate Melissa is awesome too. She yells when I over extend myself and keeps me in check. There are days when I feel like I am going no where and she is quick to give me some tough love and to point out that when I moved in, I could barely do anything other than shower, eat, dress myself and sleep on my own. My friend Jake calls all the time to check up on me, as does the Hubbard crew and Denise. My boyfriend Nate has stepped up to the plate in ways that have really surprised me. Ever since the accident he has gone above and beyond to make sure I am okay. He drives me everywhere I need to go and stays with me as I have therapy done, even though I tell him he doesn't have to. He says it is fun to watch me improve. He even takes notes for me during class. Even though I have begun to write, the movements in my wrist are weak. My parents are always there for me too, calling every day or every other day regardless of where they are in the country. Dad has been away for business in Chicago the past few weeks, but even from such a far distance he still cheer me on. And mom and the girls, I call or skype them to show my progress and they celebrate with me.
People would think that what happened to me would be horrible, but I think that this experience has had only good things come from it. It made me realize who really was my friend and who just liked to be there for me when I wasn't in need. It also made me appreciate who was there for me. I have only begun to realize how much I love these people and how much I rely on them. I honestly do not know where I would be without them. I now understand how many people care about me and how much I do care for them.

A Million Tiny Milestones

Today started off as all my other appointments have. I get shown to a room and have X-Rays taken, while Tim (Dr. Rock's assistant) finishes up with his other patients and reviews my chart. Believe it or not I love getting the X-Rays done, because the technician is so nice. She is Betty White-esque and makes you feel right at home in the cold, sterile, radiology room. Normally we only shoot three to four frames of my elbow, and the entire time she has me smiling and laughing through the pain. Today, I surprised her (and myself) being able to complete a lot of the angles Dr. Rock and Tim needed WITH NO PAIN!

When Tim came into the room, we got straight to business with reviewing the X-Rays, getting UNH disability stuff figured out and talking about how I have been feeling. I told him I had been feeling joint pain in my fingers, and I was told to expect to continue to have joint pain there for the rest of my life. With the kind of break I had, there is a lot of side effects, one of them being arthritis. For a younger person, that is hard to hear at first, but then you have to look at the bright side of things. I could have had nerve damage after the surgery, as Dr. Rock had expected, and I also could have lost a majority of mobitlity in my right hand. To come out of this with only joint pain is a blessing, so there is really no need to whine and complain about it or to even feel sorry for myself. Despite all the hell this injury has caused, I actually got really lucky.

I also showed Tim the new range of motion I have gotten back in the past week. I can make a knocking motion with my wrist, have the beginnings of circular rotation and have the begingings of twisting my wrist from side to side. My right hand has also improved its overall grip, thanks to the therapy sponges. I can also make a fist and make my pinky and thumb touch. In my elbow, I have the very beginnings of a normal hinge motion. It is only a few degrees, nothing too big, but the fact that I can move it easily those few degrees so soon after surgery gives me hope that I will regain almost full range of motion in the upcoming months.

Today, I also had a milestone moment. The last of the staples came out! I had around 20ish staples holding my skin together post surgery. I am not going to lie, I am a wimp when it comes to staples so I am extremely happy they are gone! I was also told that I will having another milestone around Wednesday or Thursday of this upcoming week. Around that time, my arm will be healed up enough for me to shower 100% unassisted. This is HUGE! Right now I have begun to bathe unassisted, but in order to do so, it requires another person to prep me (aka wrapping my arm in saran wrap and plastic bags before assisting me into a sling). I am really looking forward to just hopping in and hopping out of a shower, like I used to do. When I left the doctor's office (with an appointment for the 20th of August, not the 13th!) I felt like I was floating on air. All I could think was that everyone was right. All the people who had been supporting me, helping me when I struggled to even get my balance, doing middle of the night medicine runs, helping me cope and building up my morale on my more difficult days....they were right! I can do this and it is going to be okay!

Today I left the doctor's office with the most joy and hope that I have had since the surgery, and I can not feel more thankful for all the prayers, help and support. I truly believe that without all of you and all of your caring thoughts and actions I would not be making the rapid progress that I have been the past three weeks. I don't know what to say besides thank you, but even that seems inadequate for the amount of love I have felt. Right now, they are the only two words I can think of saying despite how inadequate they are. Thank you!

xoxoxo
-Jill

Getting One Step Closer

When I was fourteen, I thought it would be the coolest thing to break my right arm. Why? So I could write with my left hand of course! Now that my arm is out of commission, it's not as fun as one would think. Granted there is a lot of time spent hanging out and lounging in the house because a lot of stuff needs two hands or two elbows to do, but after two weeks just hanging out starts to get old. To occupy myself, I've started this blog. My hope is that it will a) give me something to do and b) answer everyone's question of "How are you holding up?"

So far I am holding up alright. It has taken two weeks, but I really am starting to feel like me again. This break isn't a typical break. When I got into the accident my right elbow hit the steering wheel just so and BAM; it smashed into 6-8 peices. I had open reduction and internal installation surgery on it, and now have a bionic elbow made up of one pin, around nine screws, a handful of wires, two plates, a bracket, and a bolt holder. I was in the hospital for five days, but tie flew because of all the visitors that came. The actual emotional impact of the injury did not hit me until I came home. For the first few days I was frustrated because I really could not do a lot on my own. Everything from bathing to eating required a lot of assistance. It felt like I was a baby again! The pain meds also made me very grouchy, tired, forgetful, and irritable. I really wasn't the nicest person to be around...

Exactly one week after being discharged, I had a follow up with the doctor. They put me in a Bledsoe Brace instead of a cast even though I am not fully healed yet. Our hope is that the brace will restore some of my movement in my elbow, but I was told I will not get a full range of motion back. At times it feels very heavy and hot. It is also an annoyance to take on and off, so it makes getting dressed very painful. As much as I may complain about the brace, I love the hope it gives me. The doctor set it so I can have ten degrees of motion in my arm, and I practice with it every day. I also am working on moving my right hand, fingers and wrist because they too were damaged by this injury. I do at home PT by squeezing theraputic sponges, slowly bending my wrist and doing finger exersizes. My next appointment is Friday, and I am so excited to show them what I can do!

I have also figured out methods to do things semi independently, which is quite nice :) It makes me feel like I am one step closer to being me again....which I am if you think about it!

-Jill